Freebie Hell!

To the bright spark who invented "Buy x, Get y free!"

Be afraid, be very afraid! I shall hunt you down to the ends of the earth, and skin you alive very slowly and deliberately.

So you think you're very smart, eh? You think you're God's gift from heaven to companies.

Companies whose vision statements read like so:
"Make the entire universe consumers"

And their mission statements read like so:
"Spread out to the remotest corners of the universe, starting with Planet Earth, and convince/cajole/persuade/force/torture people into a state of abject consumerism".

So, you're thinking - hey! I got a win-win-win here! Companies are happy because their sales are up, since they've suckered more consumers into getting hooked on to their products; Consumers are happy because they feel they've got a good bargain; and I'm happy because I got a great promotion and a fat bonus, on which I can retire to an island in the Caribbean!

Wishful thinking, dearie!

I hold you personally accountable for the tons of junk that have accumulated in my home, and which is now overflowing into other apartment balconies. The association has sternly reprimanded me, and threatened me with, God forbid, house-arrest!

I also hold you personally accountable for the dirty dishes lying in the sink, the piles of unwashed laundry, and the cobwebs lying in the attic! If I was not so busy trying to figure out a place for everything, so that everything is in its place, I might have at least had the time to clean up!

At last freebie count, I have 17 glasses, 5 tubes of toothpaste, 4 plastic boxes, 2 towel hangers, 3 baby mugs, 2 baby books, 3 toothbrushes, 2 steel bowls, 5 packs of papad, 3 packets of Tang-like stuff, 15 small satchets of tomato sauce, 4 cakes of soap... I feel like the modern Noah, with my laden ark!

So, I'm coming after you - I've had it with this freebie stuff! Just because you manufacture thoughtlessly, doesn't mean you can dump it on us without so much as a by-your-leave!

Run, dearie, run!